


sparks

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Roceit - Freeform, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25083070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Janus hates fireworks. Well, that's not quite true. But he's not really willing to admit anything else.Until he can't hide it anymore.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 33
Kudos: 287





	sparks

**Author's Note:**

> for anon prompt: "hey,, i have a really bad phobia of fireworks, and its fourth of july, do you think you could write maybe janus or whoever you want being scared of fireworks and getting comforted by someone ?"

Another loud firework cracks outside and Janus barely suppresses a wince, trying to keep his attention on the tableau in Thomas's living room. For once, they're all having a semi-productive discussion, after all, with both Janus _and_ Remus at the table, and he has no desire to focus anyone else's attention on _him_.

Besides, he'll be _fine_. It's just some fireworks, that's all. It's to be expected. After all, it _is_ the Fourth of July. Really, he should just feel blessed that there haven't been more unexpected cracks and bangs outside in the days leading up to this farce of a holiday. He can get through today. Tonight, really. Just one night of fireworks.

It's not like he's _afraid_ of them, Janus thinks, his fingers clasped tightly in front of him to conceal their trembling. That would be ridiculous. He's not _scared_ of a few flash-bang novelties that shake the house and make the human side of his face go pale. He would never-

Another closer firework goes off, sparkles of light radiating through the blinds and cracking so loud, even Thomas jumps a little. Janus squeaks before he can help it, reddening when the others turn toward him.

"Are- are you all right?" Roman asks hesitantly.

"Perfectly," he grits out through clenched teeth. "Why do you ask?"

"You look like shit," Remus bluntly puts in. "What's wrong, danger noodle?"

" _Nothing_ ," Janus insists. Everyone looks doubtful. Well, almost everyone. Virgil's looking at him in that considering way, the one he really, _really_ doesn't like.

"Can we get back to the matter at hand?" Janus asks, putting on a show of exasperation. Slowly, the others return to their conversation, and he sags a little in relief. His hands feel clammy in their gloves, and for a second, he has to wrestle his other arms from popping out. That would surely prove that he was all right. For a second, he thinks that he can get through this-

Until another firework pops out and he's sinking out before he even knows he's left Thomas's living room, crouched on his own bedroom floor. His heart beats like an overworked rabbit's, and tears blur his vision. His breathing is fast, too fast, but he can't calm it down any more than he can wish away the extra four arms windmilling around his head. One hand knocks his hat loose, sinking sharp fingers in the unruly tangle of his hair and clutching hard; another hand wraps around his middle, so tightly it feels suffocating.

"Janus?" A voice comes through, so muffled it sounds underwater. Janus sobs harder, the ragged edges of panic still assaulting his mind. Fireworks still filter through to his room, each thunderous crack making him flinch and hyperventilate all the harder.

A touch, so gentle it freezes him in place. One finger on the exposed skin of his wrist, tapping out a familiar rhythm. 4-7-8. Slowly, painfully, the jagged tune of his breathing smooths out. He looks up with tired, tear-blurred eyes into the face of his boyfriend.

"Roman?" He slurs. A soft laugh meets his ears before Roman carefully untangles his fingers from his hair, setting Janus's hand aside.

"The one and only," Roman confirms. "I told the others I'd find out what was wrong."

"I-" Janus stops, taking a deep breath. He can't exactly say that he's _fine_ , now can he? Not after he had a complete meltdown on his bedroom floor. _Pathetic,_ he berates himself, as Roman eases him to his feet and then onto his bed.

"Whatever you're thinking, you can stop now," Roman advises casually. "You aren't weak or pathetic or anything else you're telling yourself." Flabbergasted, Janus stares at him.

"How did you-" He splutters out, before self preservation takes over and keeps his mouth shut. Roman smiles gently.

"I've calmed Virgil down," Roman says. "Not a lot, but- I recognize that look."

"Oh," Janus says, his cheek flushed. "I, well-" He swallows, his throat painfully dry. Roman just waits, patient. "I'm scared of fireworks," he admits in an ashamed mumble. Roman's arms immediately go around him, tugging him close.

"Oh, Janus," Roman says softly. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It's embarrassing," Janus blurts out. "It's stupid, it's- they're just _fireworks_ -"

"They aren't 'just' anything, my beloved bananaconda," Roman says. "Not when they make you have a panic attack like that. I haven't even seen _Virgil_ have a panic attack that bad. They scare you. That's not stupid. You're allowed to have a phobia of fireworks, Janus. I just wish that I'd known sooner. I never would have made you stay up there. The discussion's not _that_ important."

"But-" Janus starts to object. Roman places a soft kiss on his forehead, near his hairline.

"I know the others would agree with me, too," Roman says. "It's only because I'm your boyfriend that I'm the only one here, you know. They all wanted to see if you were all right."

"They did?" Janus whispers, eyes widening in surprise. Roman nods.

"I- I don't want to go back," Janus admits. "It's- it's so _loud_ -"

"Then you don't have to," Roman says firmly. "I'll go tell them that you're all right, and then we can stay down here and cuddle and watch movies if you want, or-"

"That sounds perfect," Janus murmurs. "Thank you, Ro. You really are my knight in shining armor, aren't you?" Roman preens, but Janus can tell how much his words have actually affected the other side.

"Grab your weighted blanket," Roman advises as he carefully extricates himself from Janus's grip. "I'll be right back. I promise."

As Janus wraps himself in his favorite snake-printed weighted blanket, he discovers that he believes him.


End file.
